Social Comparison and the Illusion of Success
What we see every day is not real life — only selected moments. On social media, someone bought a new bike, someone else went abroad, someone else is earning a big package. Comparing our life to their highlight moments can lead to dissatisfaction in the mind.
To take an example — a person is earning ₹25,000 per month. He immediately feels left behind when he learns that his friend is earning ₹60,000. But if his expenses are only ₹18,000:
₹25,000 – ₹18,000 = ₹7,000 saving
For the year:
₹7,000 × 12 = ₹84,000
It means that he is growing steadily according to his potential. But comparison does not show this positive view.
Comparison takes our focus away from development. Shortening our journey by looking at other people’s results — that’s the number one cause of mental stress.Finding success on social media is often just a “selective display”. A person posts his 5 years of hard work as 1 photo. We look at that 1 photo and underestimate our 5 year journey. It mentally fosters the habit of “instant comparison”.
As an example — if a person devotes 1 hour a day to skill development:
1 × 365 = 365 hours per year.
365 hours is enough time to learn a new skill.
But if the same person spends 1 hour a day looking at other people’s profiles:
365 hours = 15 days completely wasted.
That means comparison not only wastes our time — it also reduces our opportunity for self-improvement. True progress comes not from “comparing ourselves with others”, but from “comparing ourselves with yesterday”.
Money Pressure and False Life Standards
Money is only a part of happiness. But by comparison it became the main standard. “They’re earning so much — why not me?” The thought increases stress.Suppose a person earns ₹40,000 per month. His lifestyle was simple. But due to comparison he bought big phone, car and expensive things with EMIs.
For example:
Phone EMI = ₹3,000
Bike EMI = ₹4,000
Credit card spend = ₹5,000
Total Additional Cost:
₹12,000 per month
Means per year:
₹12,000 × 12 = ₹1,44,000
It’s not just financial stress — it’s psychological stress as well. Increasing standards of living by comparison without actual social need reduces happiness.
Lifestyle Changes Without Emotional Balance
Changing lifestyle is not wrong. But making changes without considering social happiness is dangerous.A person works from 9 am to 6 pm. In addition, he starts a side hustle at 4 o’clock in the night compared to others.
Total working time per day:
8 hours 4 hours = 12 hours
Per month (25 days):
12 × 25 = 300 hours
That means less time for rest, family and health. This leads to mental fatigue in the long run.If the income increases but the quality of life decreases, it does not bring happiness.Social Lifestyle changes should be made considering physical and mental capacity. Otherwise the condition of “burnout” will occur.
If a person sleeps only 6 hours a day:
Recommended 8 hours – 6 hours = 2 hours deficit
per month:
2 × 30 = 60 hours of sleep deficit
For the year:
60 × 12 = 720 hours
720 hours is 30 days of sleep deficit. It affects health, decision making ability, mental stability.An increase in income is good — but if health declines, the value of that social income decreases. Lifestyle changes made without balance can gradually reduce happiness.
Digital Distraction and Artificial Happiness
Notifications, likes, comments — these give temporary pleasure. But not true social happiness.If a person uses a phone for 3 hours a day:
3 × 30 = 90 hours/month
For the year:
90 × 12 = 1,080 hours
1,080 hours means:
1,080 ÷ 24 = 45 days
That means 45 days of the year are spent in front of the screen. Real satisfaction can be found if this time is spent on skill development, exercise or with family.
Artificial dopamine happiness — does not provide lasting peace.The digital world offers “instant response gratification”. But it is not constant satisfaction. If a notification distracts you for 5 minutes —
10 notifications per day × 5 minutes = 50 minutes
per month:
50 × 30 = 1,500 minutes
= 25 hours
For the year:
25 × 12 = 300 hours
300 hours is about 12 days of total distraction.
These small interruptions reduce our concentration and disrupt deep work. True happiness lies in “full focus” — not “screen response”.
Multitasking and Mental Overload
While multi-tasking may seem efficient — it reduces focus.
For example:
1 hour is required to complete a task.
If it takes 1.5 hours due to multitasking —
Doing 3 things a day:
0.5 hour extra × 3 = 1.5 hours wasted
per month:
1.5 × 25 = 37.5 hours
That means almost 1 work week worth of wasted time.This mental fatigue reduces happiness. Focused work — gives better results and satisfaction.Multitasking causes the brain to switch tasks frequently. Each change takes 3–5 minutes of refocusing time.
If work changes 8 times in a day:
8 × 5 minutes = 40 minutes
Per month (25 days):
40 × 25 = 1,000 minutes
= 16.6 hours
That means almost 2 full working days per month are wasted.It’s not just a waste of time — it’s also a waste of mental energy. The satisfaction of completing a task increases happiness. Intermittent pauses and attention drifts reduce that satisfaction.Concentrated work — less time, less stress, more results. That is the basis of lasting happiness.
Decreased self-esteem
It’s not money that often wears a man down because of frequent comparisons — it’s self-esteem.
A person starts checking social media 2 times a day. Then it will be 5 times. Every time I see it, the feeling of “They are ahead – I am behind” is fixed in the mind.
If 6 months pass like this —
The mindset changes.
The feeling of “I’m not good enough” starts as 1 small thought and turns into 100 doubts.Comparison does not diminish our talent.But it takes our focus away from our strengths.Even if our journey takes 3 years —If others see the result in 3 minutes.Our patience is shaken.This is not a true regression —This is psychological fraud.There is 1 major problem during this period —It is the “expectation of instant results”.If it takes 365 days to learn a skill
We feel it more.
But watch other people’s success in 30 seconds videoWe underestimate our journey.Success is not a 1 day result.That is the result of 100 small efforts.An impatient mind.Any leave after 3 months.A patient mind.The result will be seen after 3 years.
Concluding thought
Society shows 1 photo.
Life is truly a story of 1000 days.
Comparison distracts us.
Living mindfully turns our attention inward.
Real Success:
- Peaceful sleep
- A debt free life
- A healthy body
- A contented mind
It is not about being better than others.
To be better than we were yesterday.
That is where true happiness lies.
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